3/7/25
I think it's extremely blatant gender essentalism (gender stereotyping) when people use the phrases 'male gaze', 'female gaze', 'written by a man', 'written by a woman', and it's all the more awful that the main crowd using and cheering these terms are otherwise progressive types.
People often use these terms when discussing female sexualization and character writting. Women characters who are overtly sexual in media are described as to be 'written by a man' or 'for the male gaze' while characters who are not sexualized or well written are described as 'written by a woman' or appealing to the 'female gaze'. I think this conforms to the gender stereotype of men being uncontrollably horny violent gorilla-monkeys while women are emotionally intelligent mother figuees tasked with being morally perfect
First of all, why can female sexuality in media only be seen through the lens of it being for men? And I also include unrealistic horniness in this, impossible big boobs and butts with stick thin bodies and vaginas the wide of a single hair; These things are often called catering to the male gaze, but woman also like these things and find them attractive, arousing even, as unadvancedly horny as they may be. I think they look fine, so that counts one. Women's sexual attraction is assumed to be more emotionally driven and above attraction of men which is driven on aesthetic preferences and such, but why? Well, I personally think it's the result of feminism that uses pre-existing ideas of gender rather than foregoing them all together, a good women is a sexually pure being, a positive view of women leads to thinking all women are good (a little above men infact), so all women are sexually pure beings. Same with every thing now.
This is bad because it denies women the agency to be sexual and create sexual things while holding them to a higher moral standard. This dehumanization of women by idolizing them includes seeing them as the mentioned infinitely emotional intelligent mother figures who are morally perfect. This is why it's often said on social media that stories or male characters that are good were 'written by women'. Women who show of their sexuality are said to be trying to appease the male gaze and shamed for showing off their sexuality of their own will. A woman cannot be sexual to appease herself or other women, it must always be for men. Women are sexually pure beings (as mentioned before), so how could they ever be sexy because they simply like it? It has to be patriarchal brainwashing, nevermind that forcing women to hide and shunning them for being sexual and controlling their sexuality has been a feature of the patriarchy for thousands of years and still is today. Women simply cannot do anything
Of course women who do not fit this model, women who write about dark masochistic unrealistic problematic fantasies are shamed, or even just normal non problematic horny books, are shamed. For the dark romance authors it's said that they romantiscizing abuse and young girls might come upon that book and get into some toxic relationship. I personally don't think adult authors writing adult books need to take into account the potential impact they might have on teenagers. It's not their fault if a teenager manages to read it despite all the warnings and believes it's the perfect relationship, for one I don't think that could happen unless the teenager was already used to abuse, and two they already put the warning signs up. these books are just explorations of their taboo fantasies in a safe controlled environment anyways, I think fiction can be more than just conventional stories and I think fiction as fantasy- even if flawed in real life is fine and interesting. you don't see many dark romance authors married to mafia bosses I tell you that. There has always been craze about the romance novels and corset-rippers (is that what they're called) corrupting young women, and I truly think a majority of it lies in trying to protect the sexual purity of women once again. I think there are other, more important things we can focus on to protect children from abuse other than pulp novels.
For the normal horny books it really is just 'ew, you're a woman and you're horny? That's disgusting? You like sexy men? And reading about sex? You're disgusting, you're literally a degenerate evil porn addict, someone send you to the monastary."
7/7/25 editing additions
I also think any sentiment that upholds the gender binary where one gender acts one way while the other acts a different way is oppressive because it is very obviously not true. All men and women and everyone else are human beings that vary in personality because the expanse of the human experience is infinite. There are 7 billion people on the planet...
The gender binary is also a tool of the patriarchy to oppress women as it states that women can never be like superior men because they are inferior and that it is a woman's role to stay in her place, while of course a man's role is to further capitalism or whatever system is reigning at that time period.
The horny gorilla role for men was/is societally used to justify violence and aggression towards others
Anyways that's all right now... I hope more women write more bad blatantly horny stories about their kinks and fetishes.