10/7/25

when people say they think villains are hot they dont even mean villain as in hurts people in a meaningful way and causes conflict they mean a guy who's mildly showboaty annoying and edgy and kills a bunch of cannon fodder, and the second a villain isnt literally a children's movie villain and actually hurts people psychologically they get sooo scared

i only find characters who deeply traumatize other characters and are actual abusers sexy because of how evil and scary they are. villains who only kill people and like, are children's movie villains aren't scary enough to make me hard because... thats da truth

9/7/25 - my thoughts on this discontinued webnovel

This is my favorite in the mtf genderbend streaming webnovel from what I've read purely because of the fact the implied love interests are mostly all male except maybe 2. I feel in TS streaming novels is an implicit desire for male validation... but that doesn't have anything to do with my point wait. I just think that genderbent characters should be forced or engage in heterosexuality because i feel like heteronormativity is a large part of your perceived gender and it's good for inner conflict for whatever.

This story is really a girlboss-show, the mc han yujin really does own everyone and win everything she does. It's a really endearing story to me. I like the love interests, I like the streamer guy she defeated in like chapter 2 he's very cute, I also like her model childhood friend, I thought that scene where he's sick lying in bed and he's going 'can you pleasee act like you did when you were a maid at a maid cafe pleaseee' to her is so funny. I like go yohan he's also cute. But i am a dojun endgame beliver. I like her streaming rival too and her fellow girl teammate, all the characters are really cute lol. I like the guy from her rival esports team too. I like her editor. Also her most implied love interest dojun... in her past life he killed himself over not winning an esports game I thought it was so fucking funny how she only first went out of her way to talk to him because she didn't want him to kill himself

I think the story has one interesting thread about han yujin being a 'god' which is essentially her becoming a product and symbol stripped of her interiority, but it is expressed through her being like no!!! i want to be a guy!!! I'm losing my manhood!!! Which maybe could also be seen as like a objectification of women or capitalism or whatever. I liked how she became more feminine as the story went on and there was a scene where her editor was like 'I like the you now (more feminine) because you seem happier" and I thought it was sooo cute.

In the actual text of the story han yujin is praised by her audience/the public for not being explciitly a feminist and remaining like a neutral centrist which I think is the stance the author takes but I thought it was interesting who there aren't any anti-feminist or misogynistic themes in any actual story beats that happen imo. I think I had a thought on that while I was reading the story but I forgot it.

The ending despite it being cancelled seemed to hint at what the actually ending was gonna be, she was being carried up a moutain by dojun while the sun was setting and she was happy!

9/7/25 - my golden standards for harem stories

girlboss (neutral leaning derogatory) character going on her odyssey with a bunch of men ranging from endearingly annoying to psychopathic (across all these stories) who she barely reciprocates the feelings of...

8/7/25

it's okay, I actually have a pass to read yandere kidnapping porn. I actually have trauma from being kidnapped once. It happened on the day I was born, I was first held captive at a first location called the 'hospital', then two adults took me away to a second location called 'my parent's house', where they kept me there until I was an adult and wouldn't let me go outside without their surveilance I narrowly escaped from there with my life, but I'm actually happy it happened so now I can read yandere kidnapping porn without going to hell. I guess this what they mean when they say god has a plan for you.

8/7/25

When is there gonna be a dorian grey movie that's good and true to oscar wilde og version.... i feel like it's relavent for the times henry is literally a manosphere influencer

8/7/25

It's great that piss kink is so common is bl now, i wonder what other kink will become a trend... armpits? sweat? feet? I bet armpits

7/7/25

i am probably the only person to analyze lets hide my little brother this hard like damn this is what a brown haired green eyed annoying man will do to you

7/7/25

The spirit kingdom in LHMLB is written okay. They are essentially colonized and genocided by the kingdom of Elbach to take their land and are only kept alive through being spirits that Astair can hear. But I do think the story kind of frames the spirits as a race of obsessive codependent people only.... like Astair's mom taking the empress's man and having his kid to get the empress's attention, and the spirits whisper stuff to Astair like 'SHE HATES YOU SHE HATES' about Kyla... that is so funny by the way imagine your ancestors communicating with you on earth to encourage your bpd.

7/7/25

Actually, more about the empress's backstory in LHMLB....

Her story is that her husband was seduced by a woman who was obsessed with her and tryng to garner her attention, turning her to act evil towards her. Don't you think framing her as the villain is kind of framing victims of idolization and codependence from another person as bad for not understanding and giving into the one who obsessed over them? I think this thread is also found in ritaus and astair and kyla who is essentially ritaus but works this time.

In the og story with no Kyla, Ritaus is not accomdating of Astair's codependence and there is a bad ending where Franz is hurt by Astair and everything goes to shit or whatever. The main difference between Kyla and Ritaus is that Kyla is nice and fulfills Astair's codependence through the plot just making it that way. In the marriage side story of the novel where they're getting married, and there's a google translated sentence that goes 'That's why she had to stay by his side even more. it was her job to prevent him from going crazy."

so I guess the main consensus of this story about codependent people is that you just have to do what they want and nothing bad will happen lol and they will totally be satisfied and happy if you just do what they want... of course this is just how a lot of yandere stories go but I do wish codependence was explored more deeply in this story as it is an unusually frequently occuring theme, but that's the same as me wishing the story was good! I wish the feeling of never being able to satisfy someone no matter what you do and the feeling of being mad at someone you idolize for disappointing you was explored in Kyla and Astair too like in Ristair or the empress and Astair's mom.

7/7/25

I guess one of the random plot moments of LHMLB is that astair perfectly enjoyed feminine things before knowing he was born male, then when he learnt that he was he started hating girl's things. I guess the reasonings could either be being feminine became a symbol of never growing up. I think the story has an implicit masculinity > feminity streak where feminity is seldom celebrated but female gender roles are still pushed on the female characters of marriage and heterosexual romance. I don't think it's trying to imply interests come from your perceived gender because kyla acts pretty in a pretty masculine role.

7/7/25

i've written a thing on this but i haven't made a page for it but I don't think every story is meant to be seen or analyzed with the framework of a traditional narrative and themes and characters and stuff. Fiction is usually made and experienced as imitations of reality and through their imitation they send a message about the world. But erotica is typically not that... the purpose of BDSM is to enact sceanarios that would be morally/ethically infeasible in real life in a controlled, safe setting and a lot of erotica follows the same model. Of course it would not be good to be kidnapped by a handsome man and be violated over and over again in real life, but in BDSM you would be able to enact that out if it wer gratifying to you. It's like wanting someone to get shot after they say somthing annoying to you but not really wanting it, so you just draw them being shot by a gun. This is how eroitca functions, especially in the dark romance department. But I guess the conflict of interest is in how stories are seen as being imitations of real life- opinions on it, so people take it as the author's view on how things work in real life. Of course all art has different meanings for every single person who reads it. in BDSM sometimes roleplay and reality can intersect so things such as aftercare and boundaries are set-up but Erotica tends to lack this.

People's main concern is it normalizing and romantisizing (lol) and whatevering abuse. I think spreading the idea that stories don't have to be reflections of realty and can be pure fantasy would do better to make sure people don't take it as such and use it to validate their toxic relationship or something, to quell their concenrs. maybe a 'this is a work of fiction and is not a reflection of reality' can work but is anyone going to listen to that?

7/7/25

i'll finish that face claim post later uh

6/7/25

My LHMLB irl face claims

Astair Elbach Lysch as...

Sky Ferreira! :3

Ritaus Esier as...

Kyla Vesta as...

Sarah Margret Qualley

(let's talk about how that genuinely is just her like wtf that's kyla)

Franz Vesta as...

Nick Carter

i dunno what actor grown up astair would be and i don't care

6/7/25

I guess the reason why I still can't fully get close to or love my mom or parents is thatI still find them mildly sickening. They were very nice to me all my childhood but sometimes they'd do things like get into arguments with me but then the next day they'd forced me to make up with them despite not wanting to and dismiss anything I had to say. I'm a very easy laugher so it'd always make me so mad when they'd start joking when I started crying and I laugh and then they'd laugh at me I just felt like they were always ignoring me and what I thought. My mom's hit me twice and one of those times I don't remember. But one of them was when I didn't want to get out of bed for school at age 5, so she brought a spatula up to the bedroom and hit me. It was awful. And then after that she forced me to hug her and forgive her? After beating me? I guess that's why I wanted to her to die so bad when I was a kid and hated her. It's that contrast of being so awful then ignoring it and being so nice again that's so disgusting to me

in my teenage years these moments happened less as I got more distanced from her, and she was just nice all the time. But I still found it sickening when she'd say stuff like she was going to hit my cat for biting me or lightly patted her to pretend to hit her for acting bad. ugh

i dont have anything to say about my dad because he's never done really wrong towards me, idk he's just normal

6/7/25

when I was around age 5 I began acting like patrick bateman and was mysteriously compelled to be the best biggest teacher's pet and smartest student despite no one ever giving me this initiative, and this led me to becoming extremely suidical at age 6-11 to the point I fantasized about killing myself everyday and jumping off the school building or burning it down and considered drinking shampoo to kill myself many times. I would imagine writing a suicide note naming and shaming everyone (my teachers my parents and my annoying classmates) to the point they'd feel so guilty they would also kill themselves and it'd be this mass ripple affect. Um, I was a very hateful child. I don't think I started actually loving my parents until age 13.... and that's deserved they were good parents but I hated them for being evil

I desperated wanted to escape this facade I built around myself so bad around ages 7-9 but I wasn't able to out of fear of the adults in my life, teachers, becoming dssappointed in me. So I just suffered really bad until I just peatered out of it on my own by being mid at school and being quiet.

6/7/25

when i was a kid i thought it was so annoying how my teachers would stupid shit like 'you're in 2nd grade now you know better' like really.... should i really know better in 2nd grade...

6/7/25

in kindergarten my school did a 'secret santa' for each class which was actually just them giving each student a random piece of paper and the paper correlated to a certain gift. So one of these times, the teacher gave out the papers and when we opened them, they were all x's (I thought they were 7's at fist), and she told us 5 year old children that we didn't prove ourselves to be good enough students, and we all failed her? And we just got nothing? Isn't that literally crazy lmfao

6/7/25

maybe i just like feeling better than people

6/7/25

this is nyuh yawk kiddo, the biigh aahpawl

6/7/25

i get so scared when i check my webcomic statistics and it's like in the double digits of visitors like oh my fucking god who is reading this... and when the "pages viewed" is low too DAMN! i have a theory it's being spread on a faraway discord server somewhere to be mocked but maybe i'm just incesure...incesure...incesture

6/725

every shonen-esque dungeon ranker regressor manhwa draw every character with such modelequse slim tall elegant legs

like damn omg

5/7/25

i relate to the sentiment expressed in the picture below:

5/7/25

my horny ass could NOT be a therapist

4/7/25

i think my proclivities are perfectly normal but the way i talk about them makes me seem weirder then i am smh

4/7/25

the way he looks like franz here....

can you imagine him doing some kind of illusion spell to look like franz or kyla just to fuck with Ritaus and also in a sort of desperate attempt to garner ritaus's love by imitating those he loves? and when it doesn't work he'll be like 'whatever i expected this' but be sad as fuck

4/7/25

me if they made stalking and identity theft and fraud illegal

4/7/25

woke took toxic heterosexuality away from me

4/7/25

this manhwa would've been peak if this was the dynamic between kyla and astair but ofc the contractually obligated happy ending ripped it away from me

look at these images and tell me it's not giving codependant relationship where you try your hardest to meet their expectations of you but are unable to no matter what you do... it's like ristair if ritaus gaf lmfao.

3/7/25

fat arms and cellucite starts drooling

3/7/25

hey that last guy just now was me. Anyways I get kind of horny thinking about the concept of one dimensional villains in rofan revenge stories. Because it's like, imagine being trapped and to the whim of an all powerful narrative that controls all of your actions, and the narrative decides to make you the one dimensional punching bag, the stupid irredeemable female villain. The character for the main characters to endlessly effortlessly humiliate and best until the narrative kills you off. Youre whole existence is merely to serve the function of being humiliated and degraded by the audence. nghgh fuckkkkk . and this is specifically also for rofan because of the misogyny aspect and how the people cheering for your downfall are mostly girls too ngh

3/7/25

guy who reads rofan manhwa with white lotuses because the meta themes of classism and misogyny in the one-dimensional villainous caricuture make him unimagineably horny

3/7/25

I want to read 'for my derilect favorite' because I truly do believe I'll come out of it shipping cael and diane from what I've heard about the manhwa lmfao.

3/7/25

it's really hard for me to get angry or scared of a fictional character and genuinely hate them because I do see them all as puppets controlled by an author. but sometimes I wish I did feel more strongly because then I feel like I could enjoy stories better.

3/7/25

I am kind of fascinated by morality and themes in stories and how people talk about these things now.

3/7/25

I don't know why but I hate it when people say stuff like "does not justify their actions", "hold them accountable" about FICTIONAL CHARACTERS... it just feels kind of accusatory towards me like you're just assuming I'm stupid enough to think that? ofc other people might think that way, but i still think it's annoying. Also holding fictional characters accountable... how do i do that... do I have to bring it up everytime i wanna make moe fanart of them? like !!! WARNING!!!! THIS CHARACTER KILLED A GUY ONCE!!!!

edit 5/725

it's probably because I think media analysis that assumes audience reactions is annoying, like let's think about what the story is actually saying in it's contents instead of just the assumed audience reception

3/7/25

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3/7/25

I really cannot let go of using social media in any way because first I deleted my apps, then I started using the websites... then I deleted all my accounts, then I started using fucking social media viewers... I just can't help it, I need to use social media to stalk the accounts I like. I don't even use the 'for you' page on any of them, I use social media by reading posts from the same account over and over again. this is probably because i am lonely and insane

3/7/25

hello! this my site to complain about anything i want to

2/7/25

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2/7/25

focused stuff

my negative opinion on the terms 'female gaze' and 'male gaze'. my favorite rofan dresses and my ranking of them